Leather
by sudoku
Summary: Emma thought she must have accidentally stepped into an alternate universe to see Neal in leather. Judging by how uncomfortable he looked in them, perhaps she hadn't. As usual, it was all Mr. Gold's fault. Swanfire oneshot fluff with a mention of Frankenwolf.


_Warning_: Mention of rear end but nothing graphic at all.

Thanks to Ana Graves for pointing out a mistake!

* * *

Emma thought she was dreaming when she stepped out of the bug. She pinched herself and realized painfully that she was not. _OK, I must have stepped into an alternate universe unknowingly._ Sadly, considering everything that had happened recently in her life, the odd of that happening was actually pretty big. Well, Neal looked pretty uncomfortable standing in those tight leather pants as she imagined he would so perhaps this wasn't an alternate universe. She wouldn't tell him in a million years that he looked rather hot in them. It was an added bonus that his scarf was nowhere in sight.

"Neal, what the hell are you wearing? Has someone's farm been raided to provide all those leathers?"

"It's nice to see you too, Emma. How has your day been?" He tried to smirk but the effect was diminished by his unconscious gesture to keep pulling the legs of his pants down.

She grimaced. "Well, I finished my paperwork which was due three weeks ago. If I knew I'd be welcomed with such a sight, I should've come to Granny's earlier. What's with the brown leather jacket and the tight black pants?"

"Emma, this is my old jacket. The one I had in Portland. The pants were from my dad. I'm not sure where he got them from but he certainly had a stack of them."

Emma smiled and raised her eyebrows. "Why did your dad give you leather pants? Since when did he give you fashion advice?"

"Apparently since we came back from Neverland. He said he had missed out a lot on my growing up stages such as wooing girls and defying his orders. He thought he had all the time in the world to make up for it but after my portal incident, he decided to take a more active role in my life. I told him he was too late for that as we had Henry but he was having none of it." Emma's heart skipped a bit when he said _we had Henry_ and she noticed his grimace like swallowing a bitter pill when he said the word _portal_. She needed to make sure Henry or any of her or his family wouldn't mention the word portal in front of Neal for the foreseeable future.

"He said no son of the Dark One should dress like 'a common peasant' in this land. He also said that I'm approaching 277," he stopped when he saw Emma's wince, he quickly added, "that was my chronological age, with the constant changing of realms I'm not sure what my actual age is but physically I'm only 35. Anyway, he said I was not getting younger so it was time for me to attract women so I could find a wife soon."

Emma was surprised that she was annoyed by his answer. She didn't need to explore further _why_ she was annoyed. She huffed, "So is this your ploy to get women fall head over heels for you? Why leather?"

"Em, have you seen this town? There are _hardly_ any single women available. Well, there are you, Regina, and Ruby. I won't touch Regina with a ten foot pole, besides she could've been my sister. Ruby and Dr. Whale are dating secretly, or perhaps not so secretly if even _I_ manage to know."

Emma replied harshly, "So you do intent to get all the women's attention. Unfortunately, there is no woman for you. Did I get it right?"

"Emma, as you know, I only want your attention." Emma stared at him. "OK, it came out all wrong. But you know that I've never stopped loving you and will only have my eyes on you. I don't want to attract other women. I'm just wearing this because my dad has been nagging me practically since we came back to Storybrooke three weeks ago. He promised he would stop nagging me if I started wearing leather especially the pants. He didn't specify how long I needed to wear them so these will come off tonight."

"Not so fast, cowboy. Perhaps they're working, just turn around so I can see clearly."

Neal awkwardly turned.

Emma wouldn't lie to herself that she wasn't hot and bothered especially when she looked at his rear end in the tight pants. _Since when am I attracted to leather?_ She thought she was not a shallow person.

When Neal faced her again, she coolly said, "Well, I can sort of see your dad's logic. But these pants have to come off. I don't want to see Ruby or some other ladies checking you out. It'll be very unprofessional for me as a sheriff to claw their eyes out. By the way, I love you too."

Neal looked like a kid who got the news that Blue Fairy was going to help him. _OK, bad analogy, Emma_. He looked like a puppy whose owner was going to take him for a walk. Emma couldn't help but smiled and hugged him.

Neal asked with a small voice, "Could I keep the jacket? I'm quite fond of it and it reminded me of our good old days."

Emma rolled her eyes. "You can keep the jacket, Neal. Now are you going to shut up and kiss me?"

Neal promptly complied.

* * *

Mr. Gold watched from the opposite shop. Huh, thanks the Dark One, those two blockheads finally kissed. It took them weeks too. He knew those two had admitted their feelings for each other but when they came back from Neverland, they acted awkwardly around each other. Watching teenagers dating was less painful than watching those two danced around each other. He swore his kid was thicker than Charming in term of relationship and that was really something. It embarrassed him greatly as his dad.

As usual, he needed to nudge them in the right direction. He wondered how the Enchanted Forest's dating lives would be if he never lend a hand to them.

He knew the leather would work like a charm. After all, it worked for Charming, Jefferson, even Hook, and admittedly himself.

* * *

Author's Note:

-This is unbetaed so if you spot any mistakes, please let me know. In fact, please let me know what you think of this silly little fic. I just thought with all the angst stories out there, we need some levity.


End file.
